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From the Heiresses themselves...
How to Plague Your
Scottish Kidnapper
by Lady Venetia Campbell
- Threaten to report him to the authorities. Do not become annoyed when he laughs.
- Bite him hard, but not when he has his pistol aimed at you.
- Sing ballads about the downfall of criminals at the top of your lungs.
- Run away, if possible. Avoid tangling with Highland wildcats while doing so.
- Kick him hard in the shins, but be prepared for a tussle in the bracken afterward.
- Flirt with his accomplice.
- Tell his friends you're his wife. Be careful not to let that land you in even more trouble.
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From Mrs. Harris...
- Some men are like fresh croissants--delicious to look at, but filled with hot air.
- Elopements may be quick, but bad marriages last forever.
- A kiss does not obligate anyone to anything.
- Swooning is for old ladies and fools.
- Many a scandal lies behind a smooth smile.
- Never take a man at face value.
- Your duty to your family is to marry well; your duty to yourself is to marry happily.
- Take care what man you let across your moat.
- Too much honey can draw flies.
- Any man afraid to marry in England is not the man for you.
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Advice from a
Rakehell to the Heiresses...
Courtesy of the Viscount Norcourt
All around you, ladies, lurk beasts masquerading as gentlemen, eager to steal either your virtue or your fortune or both. You can recognize them by these markers:
- A deplorable tendency to flatter with finesse.
- Excellent skills in the sensual arts.
- A love of nitrous oxide parties as a venue for seduction.
- Vehicles of the riskier sort, like phaetons or racing curricles.
- An oft-disguised penchant for strong spirits.
- Friends who are also rakehells.
- An ability to use anything, even scientific curiosity, to tempt you into wickedness.
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